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“I’ve never been that big on Valentine’s Day, so I had plans with friends,” Bolin said.

“But then on Valentine’s Day, he was texting me saying he felt bad” they wouldn’t be together.

Now, “there’s this long period between going through puberty and getting married that would be a long time to be dating,” she said.

“It’s a longer period of transition to adulthood.” Focus on school Twenty-somethings who don’t go to college tend to enter into the adult world more quickly, said Hull.

That’s not easy, in part because traditional dating has changed dramatically — and so has the way young people talk about relationships.

Twenty-year-old Kassidy Mc Mann said she’s gone out with a few guys, but it wasn’t as serious as dating. According to Mc Mann, the widespread fear of rejection among millennials has drawn them to the more casual hang-outs because “they don’t want to have to go through breakups or get hurt.” Kathleen Hull has a more scientific explanation.

Katie Bolin started seeing her boyfriend in December of 2013.

But when February rolled around, he didn’t want to make plans for the 14th.

“Putting the word ‘date’ on it is stressful — a hang-out is so much less pressure.” For many millennials, traditional dating (drinks, dinner and a movie) is nonexistent.In its place, young people hang out or say they are “just talking.” So when store windows fill with hearts and chocolates and red roses, young couples feel pressure to define their ambiguous relationships.Hull, a University of Minnesota associate professor of sociology, said that an extended adolescence has altered the dating scene.The “traditional markers of adulthood” — marriage, children and home ownership — now occur later in life than, say, in the 1950s, when going steady in high school often led to marriage.The two had met through mutual friends and began keeping in touch on Twitter, but they weren’t dating.

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For months, they were just “hanging out.” “Hanging out is like the pre ‘we’re dating,’ ” Bolin said.