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I have told some of my dates about my MS right away. And, OK, I will admit that a few times I have even disclosed my MS in hopes that a guy will get scared and back off.
What I do know is I am a woman in my 30s— diagnosed with MS in 2005 and divorced for almost a year—who has found myself thrown into the dating world. (“Seinfeld” fans know what I am talking about.) Along with my MS comes a lot of fatigue, chronic pain and irritability.
I was with my now ex-husband for seven years and before that with a high school boyfriend for about the same amount of time. My ex-husband never fully understood these limitations and why I was not always up for going out and doing things.
I’ve been really disappointed when I’ve had to cancel dates with guys I really did like because I wasn’t feeling well, and a couple of men with potential slipped away before we even got the chance to get to know each other. Sometimes I feel like I can’t even handle taking care of my fat dog, Stella. I told him over dinner that I had MS, and he seemed OK about it, which was a relief.
But I’m hopeful that the right guy and right situation will come along, as people reassure me, when the time is right. But then I worry about what will happen if and when that happens. Then my sister and her boyfriend met up with us at the end of the night at a local bar so she could check my date out and let me know what she thought. My sister recently put me on one of those online dating sites and that’s been a whole other can of worms.
I really do question whether there is a guy out there for me who will want to deal with all of this.
I also question whether I even want to burden someone with all of this. With other men, I have waited to tell them, for fear of their reaction.