Rules for dating my teenage daughter joke

Posted by / 05-Aug-2016 10:29

Rules for dating my teenage daughter joke

__Yes __No (IF YOU ANSWERED ‘YES’ TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?Below is the text from the form, however, I have created a PDF version of it that is probably more useful. _________________________________________________________ Applicant’s Signature (that means sign your name, moron!

If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.(you might watch your back) To prepare yourself, should you, by some ice cube’s chance in HELL, be even remotely considered, start studying If you pull into my driveway and honk, you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________ HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________ SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________ BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________ HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______ Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No If “No”, explain: _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Number of years they have been married ______________________________ If less than your age, explain ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ A. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would cause you injury).

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______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does ‘ABSTINENCE’ mean to you? If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: ______________________________________________________________ C.

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  1. "This says I love you and want to be intimate, but not tonight." Be sure to follow through on the follow-up appointment.7. Discuss what turns you on—and what doesn't—as unnatural as it may feel. Queen, who suggests starting with, "There are things I think about, sexually, that I never mention." From there, a general "Can we talk about this more? During the act, "maneuver into position and make sounds of pleasure to encourage your partner toward a certain behavior," says Dr. "Men appreciate these nonverbal prompts." They also respond well to comments that are about you, rather than about him.